Hoping to do for that great geriatric staple shuffleboard what The Gutter & Brooklyn Bowl have done for bowling (i.e. make the square crazy happening), some hip young entrepreneurs are opening up The Royal Palms Shuffleboard Parlor smack dab in the middle of the former wasteland known as Gowanus, at 514 Union between Nevins and 3rd Ave. After an epic fight to get their liquor license, this festive beer, wine & cocktail-serving Tang & Biscuits emporium (those last two ain’t food–it’s what the cognoscenti call the stick & the puck) is set to soft-open in early December according to the latest buzz and should be drawing a healthy portion of the bearded set by the Holidays.

There will be a whopping 10 regulation-sized shuffleboard courts inside the massive 17,000 square foot space and gourmet food trucks outside to restore vigor to the competitors. And Royal Palms takes their avocation seriously: shuffleboarders (real word? it is now) will have the options of league play, competitive tourneys featuring ranked players or simple pick up games among friends, as well as private parties. All this exuberant high life amidst the spirited competition, swinging music and cocktails is bound to lead to the bonhomie that I’m told only good, honest shuffleboard can produce… as well as lowering the median age for its players by around 35 years. So be sure to check it out when they get the biscuits flying and chalk me up for 10 frames at the Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club! If it’s anything like pool, I’ll get better the more beer I have.